Have you relapsed recently?
Last week I had a call with a dear former client who was struggling with what she called “a relapse in leadership”. She was slipping into old patterns:
- Anxiety was at an all-time high which meant she wasn’t sleeping and working too many hours.
- Failing to regulate her emotions which meant she was offloading pressure onto her team and husband.
- Repeating the thought ‘If I don’t push to make it happen, it won’t happen.’
I knew immediately she relapsed because she felt her security was being threatened.
If you are alive today (yes, that’s you), COVID-19 is consciously and/or subconsciously threatening your sense of safety and security.
When our security is being threatened, we throw the tools out the window. We panic and try to control what’s in front of us by putting in more hours, micro-managing people, forgetting our morning routine and diving straight into work.
I immediately walked my client through the Aligned Ambition Framework ™ we operated in during our 6-month coaching engagement to identify where was tripping up and come up with a plan.
The Aligned Ambition Framework ™ is a three phased approach (because what good framework isn’t?!) that answers the questions “What is the most true and beautiful way I can live that is of maximum integrity and service to myself, others and the world?”
Deep breath. Let that question sink in for a second.
This framework lays out a clear picture of where you are, where you’re going, and what you need to do to get to that place of truth, integrity, and contribution in your career and life.
For my client she was tripped up in the “what you need to do to get there” part. So I took her back to her relationship with Self. (Hint: 99% of the time, that’s where the root of the problem lies.)
The three precepts of Aligned Self are:
- Set life-affirming feelings, not goals.
- Know your value and know what you value.
- Make conscious contact with you Essential Self.
My sweet client immediately breathed a sigh of relief and diagnosed her problem:
- She identified that she was setting goals in her work, not feelings. This meant she was chasing the elusive, external validation, not the process.
- She had forgotten that her value as a leader is not in what she produces but in how she shows up with powerful calm.
- She was not meditating or pausing. She was operating from her Social self (the part of her that was listening to cultural programming that you have to push to make things happen), not her Essential self (the truest part of herself that wants to see her thrive and slow down).
Big shifts in just three simple precepts! She called me yesterday to report that her whole attitude and outlook upon life had shifted. Her team was less panicked and she was sleeping through the night.
Listen, shifting your mindset and energy can be this simple, but often it feels hard because when we fear for our security, we are less likely to make changes. Leaning into the unknown during an unknown time takes courage.
Do you want to walk through this Aligned Ambition Framework together? Are you curious what an Essential Self is? Let’s get on a 30 minute laser-focused call and identify some quick wins for you.
