I’m curious, has this happened to you?
You just received a tough project in a meeting and are feeling overwhelmed.
At your desk you lean back in your office chair, taking a deep breath in while slightly shaking your head and muttering “I don’t get paid enough for this…”.
You’re busting your ass, outworking your team and yet… you still haven’t clenched that raise or promotion that you know you’re oh so worthy of.
So what do you do? Well, I’ll tell you exactly what!
Here are my 3 results-driving steps for how to get a raise through being in alignment.
Uncover your value proposition and embody it in every context. What specific value do YOU bring? This usually resides at the intersection of (a) your authenticity and (b) what people come to you for.
TAKE MY CLIENT KATHRYN FOR EXAMPLE.
Kathryn realized that she is most in flow when she’s managing in a 1:1 setting. By working with her reports in this way she is able to embody a grounded, centred, and thoughtful leadership approach. As an introvert, this context was most authentic to her (a) authenticity.
But the executive team was coming to her for (b) for direction on how to shape the annual team strategy. For Kathryn, executive communication is usually where her insecurity went wild. It was outside of her comfort zone. But, it’s what her leadership team needed from her.
Together, Kathryn and I created strategies for her to bring her grounded, centred, and thoughtful management style into the executive meeting. She abandoned the idea that executive presence needed to look gregarious and highly energized. Instead, she was able to show up in a way that was more authentic to her.
As a result, Kathryn knocked the meeting out of the park. Shortly after, she was granted a promotion and a raise. She uncovered her value proposition (her authentic style of being grounded, centred, and thoughtful), and embodied it in every context that was being asked of her. Even when that context was outside her comfort zone. This alignment literally got her the massive raise. More on her story later.
USE COURAGEOUS COMMUNICATION NOT PASSIVE COMMUNICATION.
According to Harvard Business Review (2018), women ask for raises as frequently as men but don’t get them as frequently. This is in some part due to gender bias and in other part due to the communication style used to ask for the raise.
Courageous communication is a style of communication that is confident, direct, and succinct. It is communication that clearly articulates the person’s needs, wants, thoughts, and perspectives. This communication style is most successful when seeking a raise. Many women, however, are more passive in their communication style, as they beat around the bush, qualify or caveat their request, or too easily let the request go un-actioned.
Courageous communication when asking for a raise sounds like this:
“I’d like to set up 30 minutes next week to discuss my compensation with you. I’ll send you an agenda in advance.”
“I’m seeking a raise commensurate with the increased value I’m delivering to the business in these ways”.
Passive communication sounds like:
“Could we maybe talk in the next few months about my pay?”
“I’d like to get a raise. Do you think we could make that work?”
You can hear the directiveness in the courageous communication, and the fear and indirectness that resides behind the passive communication.
HEAL YOUR SUCCESS WOUND™.
The Success Wound™ is the false belief that your success and achievements are synonymous with your self-worth. Job-related anxiety, patterns of overwhelm and overworking, and striving to meet unrealistic expectations are all results of the Success Wound™. These patterns lead to lower self-esteem and poorer performance which both impact your ability to land a raise. When you decouple your identity from your success, it actually allows you to work more effectively, sustainably, and smarter. It also takes you off of the rollercoaster of anxiety and confidence that rises and falls with your achievements.
Don’t just take my word for it that these steps really work! Kathryn (Director of Talent Acquisition at Lakeshore) received two raises, a bonus increase, and equity in her company after following these steps.
IN HER OWN WORDS…
“I came to Brooke at a time when I felt stuck – stuck in habits that weren’t serving me, stuck in mental loops that I couldn’t get out of, stuck in mindsets about my self-worth that felt etched on my brain and irreversible. I had a hard time believing that after so many years of achieving and overwhelm, I could feel differently about my relationship with work and myself.
But I did! I became more confident in meetings with executives, I showed up differently for my team, and felt more energized at the end of the day.”
During the six months in the female executive coaching program:
- I received two raises, a bonus increase, and equity in our company.
- My direct reports gave me feedback that my leadership was helping to transform our team for the better.
- I was more present at home with my husband and daughter. I worked less but got more done.
I’ve redefined what success means to me. I’m firmly rooted in the values and gifts that I bring to the table and feel confident in who I am. If I have a hard day at work, I no longer let that define my self-worth. Simply put, I am so grateful I found Brooke and will always carry her wisdom with me.”
ONE LAST STEP…
I gave you 3 steps today, but I want to give you just 1 more because it’s the real key, the most important one.
This step is all about getting greater clarity on exactly what you want without the confusion. For years, I thought that the raise or promotion would be the key to me finally feeling like it was enough, but it never was. That hit of confidence I was chasing by getting a raise was fleeting, so I’d chase the next promotion or sexy job thinking that one would finally be *it*.
I was completely stuck. I didn’t know what I truly wanted from my career, so I just followed whatever other people told me ‘success’ looked like. It led me to dead end, after dead end.
That’s because I was deeply entrenched in my Success Wound™, a term I didn’t know at the time, to explain how I was feeling.
To help you with this, I created a free worksheet that helped me to get unstuck from these patterns, and create instant career clarity so that you can start following your own path to success that’s actually fulfilling.
You can enter your name and email address into this form to get the Get Unstuck worksheet, sent right to your inbox.
P.S. If you want even more support, you can apply for a consult call and be added to the waitlist to work with me 1:1™