Have you ever felt INSANE like my client Jessie?
“I feel crazy, Brooke. Certifiably insane, even.
Like there are two parts of me that are at war with each other. There’s this part of me that is desperate for change and growth and to see what is possible as an entrepreneur.
But then there’s this other part of me that would prefer to move to the tropics, sit on a beach, and make jewelry out of coconuts all day.
And I don’t know which part to listen to!!”
I laughed and nodded knowingly. “Yes I know that conflict, and it actually exists within all humans, you’re not crazy”.
Like Jessie, I speak to hundreds of conscious, corporate women who want to grow and evolve in their professional and personal lives, but something stops them from starting the company, or asking the person out, or having the difficult conversation.
We all want growth, expansion, and newness. But we also are hardwired to seek comfort and certainty.
How do you create change when you also seek comfort?
Let me explain.
\We have two parts to our being with opposing functions: The Nervous System and the Soul.
The job of the nervous system is to maintain homeostasis. It likes comfort and provides a physical response when it senses a threat.
This is the part of Jessie that wants to move to the tropics and make coconut jewelry. And hey, who doesn’t?
The Soul is the part of us that desires growth, expansion, challenge, and novelty. It’s the small voice that says “What if you did try speaking your truth? What if there *is* something more for me than my stable 9 to 5?”
The very nature of the Soul is its expansiveness, limitlessness, and joyful anticipation.
What do you do when your Soul craves growth and expansion, but the nervous system sends us anxiety, panic or sweat after the idea appears?
Short answer: Take small, aligned actions everyday. These steps must be in the direction that your Soul sets, but not too big that your nervous system freaks out.
1) Allow your Soul to speak. You see, many people come to me saying they don’t have the answers for what they want to do or how to get there.
Here’s the truth: you already have the answers; your Soul knows.
Your Soul is your built-in GPS that is always available to offer the perfect direction, instant guidance, and inspired piece of wisdom on your path. It’s a functional part of every human being.
Here are some journaling prompts I recommend for listening to your Soul:
What would you do if fear weren’t in the picture?
What is the area of least satisfaction in your life and what does your intuition tell you is the solution?
What do you love to do by choice where time expands? What if you could do that 30% more often- how would that feel?
Now, many people don’t bother listening to their Soul because they fear the answers.
But not you! No, you’re brave and ready to do things differently.
You are ready to get to know this part of you and no longer hide from your truth.
This is what it means to fully love yourself; to make space for and to listen to what YOU have to say.
2) Take small, aligned steps. Even if the answers to the above questions scare you, choose just one vision from above and take the smallest, teeny tiniest step towards that vision once per day. I’m talking SMALL, tiny steps out of your comfort zone and into your growth zone.
Let me give you an example…
One of my clients, let’s call her Ella, knows that staying at the cushy Big Tech job is no longer serving her. Her Soul told her it’s ready to expand and try something new.
This insight really scared her, but she was willing to have some networking conversations with inspiring people to start testing her Soul’s hypothesis.
Ella remembered this incredible woman from a charity they both volunteered at.
Ella was very inspired by her career but was intimidated and nervous to reach out. It would have been too intense for her nervous system to even fathom asking this woman for a coffee.
“I might have to deactivate my email if I ever emailed her…I would be too embarrassed!!”
So here’s what she did instead.
Day 1: Elise opened her email and dropped her hero’s email address into the ‘To’ line, and then saved it as a draft.
Day 2: Opened the draft and wrote the subject line.
Day 3: The next day, write “Hi NAME” and save it as a draft.
Day 4: Wrote one sentence.
Within a few weeks she had a coffee lined up with her hero.
I’m curious, what aligned action will you take today?
If you’re stuck, I have a suggestion for you!
I invite you to click here to download my brand-new cheat sheet teaching you how to navigate difficult conversations in and out of the workplace.
This worksheet gives you specific language and scripts for:
Boundary setting
Giving feedback
Voicing a contentious opinion
Smoothing over conflict
These conversations are often so overwhelming for our nervous system that we never have them.
This skill is absolutely critical when it comes to work and life satisfaction, and Soul expansion.
The conversation tools that I share with you in the cheat sheet are some of the most valuable things I give to my clients.
Downloading this cheat sheet can be your small-aligned action for the day !
