There are five primary sources of career struggles that actually have nothing to do with your boss or job title.
It’s most likely that the source of your career struggles aren’t just about the work itself, but about how you’re approaching work.
After coaching over 5,000 corporate women in the last seven years, I’ve realized that there are five primary ways this show up for women. (You can figure out which one you are in this quiz here)
- Working relentlessly, using work as a defense against feelings of inadequacy, striving to prove worth through constant achievement. (The Grinder)
- Avoiding visibility or taking on high-profile projects to protect against the potential failure, rejection, and the ensuing shame. (The Hider)
- Continuously searching for new achievements– the next job, the next promotion, the next big client–hoping that the next one will finally bring validation and acceptance. (The Seeker)
- Sacrificing personal needs to meet others’ expectations, putting the needs of a boss, colleague, client or direct report ahead of your own in order to gain acceptance. (The Pleaser)
- Working intensely and “balancing” it with unhealthy escapism as a temporary relief from the pressure to achieve. (The Work Hard Play Hard)
Sound familiar? I’m guessing in some way, you’ve exhibited at least one if not all of these habits. And it’s these very behaviors that keep us stuck.
Stuck in cycles of burnout, stuck in a dead end job that we haven’t liked for a while. Stuck in resentment at our boss our colleagues.
If “how you do one thing is how you do everything,” it’s worth asking yourself:
- Where else are you prioritizing other people’s needs above your own?
- Where else are you trying to control outcomes or manage people’s reactions to protect yourself?
- Where else are you procrastinating or avoiding what matters most?
- Where else are you choosing the safety of your comfort zone, even when it no longer serves you?
Because the truth is: your patterns at work are rarely confined to work.
Again and again, when I wrap up coaching with clients, they share something powerful:
Their entire way of being in the world shifts. Not just how they approach their career.
But how they love.
How they spend money.
How they communicate.
How they sleep at night.
How they trust.
It’s all connected.
When you untangle limiting patterns in your career, you start untangling them everywhere else. That’s why career coaching isn’t just professional development. It’s life work.
You don’t have to keep doing this alone.
Let’s shift how you work—and how you live.